its still there

i have not been able to shed the veil of sadness i have, it runs deep and day by day it seems like it only grows. there is little hope or happiness in my heart and i shutter when i think of the future. how will i let myself be loved again. in small increments i am tasted and delighted upon. but i sink each time with a veil of insecurity like a noose tied around me. the fog of sadness is thick and i have to overcome tiredness, fatigue, uncertainty and all just to function short term. day by day, letting things go. the anger is consuming and the forgiveness rare. it tastes like blood in my mouth and i yearn for the past. to change my future.