All my fault

What if it is all my fault- lets just say I fell in love with lies and I sinned. I destroyed all that was beautiful within- I wept and let that destroy me- and then I fled- I moaned and I bled- 

Too much too soon and darkness was all that lined my cocoon- in the walls of hope I wasted away and I ran into the prison from which I came all along soothing myself ----

I could not protect and I could not blame

So I disappeared and ran from my pain - not so un normal for those who survive a trauma- for those who use drugs and dissolve from the pain- waking up beautiful but ashamed - one less wound one less pain - one more scar one more moment sane.