In retro speck I knew I was setting myself up to fail. There was too much excitement and underlying dreams unmet that stirred into space the hope for things unseen-

I felt disappointed because my happiness  turned to gloom- then I remembered no one is is responsible for my feelings but me- so I didn't get what I wanted- and that changed how I felt- meh- there is not  much more I can do- escape in the night with the babies and the beasts-