Blink like the blind

Realized today that I've been hiding myself 
Didn't want mom to see how sick I really am
How I take care of nothing 
Longing 
Leg spread 
Directionless
Starving self harming 
Not a chance I can trust 
Myself 
This time
Judge me cut me unwind me
Like pearls casting on a string 
Words appear 
To clear the reason for suffering 
- what if you let someone else take care of you- to be coddled- held
Helped 
Why keep hiding 
What can I do to heal myself
What's it take to come about -