Grief wanders

The salt spring is rushing and there is nothing I can hide from myself in sore 
Legs that shake in denial 
winter jackets that only warm so far 
In cars that come back home 
I took myself 
Along for the ride back and forth 
I time, I train myself not to think too much 
About absent things 
The memories sting as I slip out of risk into the night 
I pause in my deliberation 
Grief is silent one more night -