I left them

I'm so sad 
The pain inside me is greater than the love for my children
I cannot be with them and I am heart broken 
The greif has no name it is heavy and the weight pulls me to the earth with out happiness or hope and the real wreck of the matter is the pain 
There is no escape and the torture of my thoughts keeps tears flowing and life 
Seems to stop on end
I have pain beyond my years and the gut wrenching just won't stop 
It hiccups in my soul and the depths of my core is gutted 
I'm in love with my children but a man is trying to harm me so I run frantic in all pain and the sadness is too hard to blame me for this 
I'm grieving like I never knew I could and the thoughts I think are too much too big and too painful 
I'm on the ground again
On my knees and the pain won't keep from coming and fear sets in and we sit with it content in holy un content
I'm sick beyond years and tears keep flowing 
My children are growing up with out me
Why does it have to be this way 
Angels protect them I pray-  
I'm dying either way