the talent

today i met with a new behavioral psychologist. she was fresh and had clear blue eyes. there was comforting art in her office, i liked this one picture of a wind blown fence along a beach. this is the fifth doctor i have met with since April. we talked about my symptoms which is no appetite, and not eating.  the culprits, stress, anxiety, the usual. i always leave appointments with more appointments to make. next step a nutritionist. i asked if someone could make meals for me, she told me to eat through my discomfort. just what i wanted to hear. ;) the other thing i touched on was my art. and this occurred to me the other day, i used to paint or draw for hours. and where did she go, i mean it is still me, i can still do that. right? i wondered if i could focus that long now, can i sit still long enough. creating art is something like meditation, if you are going to sit still long enough to ask you have to be willing to sit with the answer. if that makes sense outside of my head, i dunno. but it get that.