Well I know things have been going better between us and all. Although I cannot shake that icky feelin about your "friendliness" with other women on line and your bait n switch moves. I wrestle with my own love for you and your destruction . I grapple with believing you, trusting in what I wonder. You have no commitment to me , your actions wander in sent texts and whispered pictures. But still knowing this I'm weak to resist you. I give into my cravings and my love to be held. Each time I walk away I think it's the last, that each time I can't be won't be hurt again. It still hurts, and I hunger. I don't think the distaste for your actions is much different than mine of that time. It seems sensible though that the time of wandering is past. It sea though the pursuit of your Maddog in heat overrides the sensitivities of my sweetheart. For this I've cried
I've lost respect trust and attraction. Sneakiness is not attractive, friendliest gestures mistaken for more do not impress me. Cultivating another romance for when our fizzles leaves me hopeless. You say I'm crazy and making all this up but just like the other things you say now I don't believe you. I may have been jealous I may have been blind I may not have valued myself enough to say I'm good alone, or committed. Not enough did I pay attention tousled by the lust of love and warm bodie to cover me when I'm feeling bad
. I lost it all losing it all agin.