it was hard to tell my right from my left and my up from my down. i pushed and pulled away from you but hearts breaking was the only sound. there wasnt a warmer place for me than in your arms, but tangled in webs i couldnt let my guard down. i didnt want to fight anymore but i might have lied to make you happy. i cannot feel the satisfaction of such simple things, i lost that kite in the wind. in naked sheets i lie but worthless i strive for more.
one thing i know and many things i do not. i cannot change the past and there isnt a day that goes by that i dont think about it, i have hated the4th of july as long as i can remember, i cannot even tell you for how long i have bad mooded my way through this day. all along you sat steady by my side. but i rippled in quite tears i tried to hide. knowing that you love another is more than my fragile heart wants to bear. i want to wake up happy and whole and not an ounce of me thinks this is possible with you. the ways of life are such a strong current that i am weak and tired and do not want to fight the tide. i should have called your love poison and tried to hide. now i shiver in my sin and face the longing that i have within. your words break me more each day and as long as i try and stop them i cannot keep them from hurting my mind. take this to a place we know and maybe i'll grow but all i wreak of is frustration and the line is drawn and erased by the comfort of your embrace.