on a friday night

we always had a steady date on friday nights, i was happy to make the space for you week after week. gladly waiting for such a time as this. you broke our plans and you shattered my fragile heart. nothing you can say will take me back to the start. so i pushed you away with all my might. my tummy turned and my breath stank with the rot in my gut. there were no more tears in me to cry and no more struggles i wanted to wade my way through. the journey for me as one of three had lead me away from you. i cannot share my heart in love with lips that quiver at each goodbye. the pain of having and losing doesnt compare to the depths of my despair. the words off your tongue were salty and they stung. would i rather face a life alone with  pain and anger that hurts to my bones? im frail and i faint in the arms of love.